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Wednesday, August 27, 2025
Friday, August 15, 2025
Golden Mediterranean Salmon Cakes with Spinach and Feta
TVD’s Manly Mediterranean Salmon Cakes (Ottolenghi-Style with Sirene and Capers)
Crispy salmon cakes with a custom za’atar blend, fresh herbs, crumbly sirene, and briny capers, inspired by Ottolenghi’s NOPI cod cakes and Salmon Cakes with Capers and Dill. Paired with your tahini-herb tarator for Thomist’s Mediterranean triumph.
Ingredients
Custom Za’atar Mix:
1 tsp dried thyme
1 tsp roasted sesame seeds (toast in a dry pan if raw)
1 tsp sumac
1/4 tsp ground cumin
1/4 tsp ground coriander
1/4 tsp dried oregano
1 large can (14.75 oz) salmon, drained (reserve liquid) OR 1 lb cooked salmon, flaked
1 small can (6 oz) crabmeat, drained (reserve liquid, optional; if skipping, use 1/2 cup crumbs)
1 cup frozen chopped spinach, thawed and thoroughly drained
1/2 cup crumbled Bulgarian white cheese (sirene, sheep’s milk, drained for feta texture)
4 celery stalks, finely diced
1/4 cup minced dried onion (or 2 tbsp onion powder)
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 tbsp drained capers, roughly chopped
2 tbsp mayonnaise
3/4 cup almond flour (or smashed crackers/matzo meal; 1/2 cup if no crabmeat)
1 large egg, beaten
Juice of 1/2 lemon (1 tbsp) + 1 tsp lemon zest
2 tsp finely chopped fresh parsley
2 tsp finely chopped fresh mint
1 tsp finely chopped fresh dill (or 1 tsp dried dill)
1 tsp custom za’atar mix
1/4 tsp smoked paprika
1/4 tsp regular paprika
1/4 tsp ground allspice
Pinch of red pepper flakes
No added salt (sirene, capers, tarator are salty)
Olive oil, for frying
Fresh parsley, mint, and dill leaves (if available), for garnish
1/2 tsp custom za’atar mix, for finishing sprinkle
Pre-made tahini-herb tarator sauce, for serving
Equipment
Small bowl (for za’atar mix)
Large mixing bowl
Colander and cheesecloth (for spinach and sirene)
Cast-iron skillet (or non-stick frying pan)
Spatula
Measuring cups and spoons
Paper towels
Sharp knife and cutting board
Instructions
Make Za’atar: In a small bowl, mix 1 tsp dried thyme, 1 tsp roasted sesame seeds, 1 tsp sumac, 1/4 tsp cumin, 1/4 tsp coriander, and 1/4 tsp oregano. Set aside 1 tsp for patties and 1/2 tsp for garnish.
Prep Sirene: Drain 6–8 oz sirene in cheesecloth, press with a weight in the fridge for 4–8 hours, or air-dry crumbles for 12–24 hours for feta texture. Crumble into pea-sized bits (~1/2 cup).
Prep Spinach: Thaw 1 cup frozen chopped spinach. Squeeze dry in cheesecloth until no liquid remains. Chop finer if needed.
Prep Herbs and Capers: Finely chop 2 tsp each of fresh parsley, mint, and dill (if using fresh). Roughly chop 1 tbsp drained capers. Reserve 5–6 herb leaves for garnish.
Mix It Up: In a large bowl, gently combine salmon, crabmeat (if using), spinach, celery, minced dried onion (or onion powder), garlic, capers, mayo, almond flour, egg, lemon juice, lemon zest, parsley, mint, dill, 1 tsp za’atar mix, smoked paprika, regular paprika, allspice, and red pepper flakes. Add 1–2 tbsp reserved salmon/crab liquid for a medium-wet mix. Fold in sirene last.
Chill: Cover and chill in fridge for 1 hour or freezer for 30 minutes for firm patties.
Form Patties: Shape into 10 compact patties, ~2 inches wide.
Fry: Heat a thin layer of olive oil in a cast-iron skillet over medium heat. Add patties in batches, cooking undisturbed for 12 minutes until golden. Flip and cook 10 more minutes.
Drain and Garnish: Transfer to paper towels. Sprinkle with 1/2 tsp za’atar mix and garnish with parsley, mint, and dill leaves (if using).
Serve: Serve warm with tarator sauce on the side (1–2 tsp per serving). Pair with a cucumber-tomato salad (toss with olive oil, red wine vinegar, pinch of za’atar), fries, or coleslaw.
Yield
~10 patties
Notes
Texture: Ensure spinach and sirene are bone-dry. If mix is wet, add 1 tbsp extra almond flour.
Flavor: Taste mix before chilling. If za’atar or capers are mild, add 1/4 tsp sumac or lemon zest. Allspice adds warmth; keep light.
Storage: Refrigerate leftovers (airtight, 3 days). Freeze uncooked patties between parchment (3 months). Reheat in skillet or 350°F oven for 10 minutes.
Substitutions: Crackers for almond flour; tuna for crabmeat; cayenne for red pepper flakes. Store extra za’atar mix airtight.
Sunday, June 29, 2025
Thursday, May 08, 2025
Frozen Pizza Hack

Monday, May 05, 2025
Sunday, April 27, 2025
Texas-Louisiana Ham Fat Chili
Texas-Louisiana Ham Fat Chili
- Ham Fat: 6 oz, cut into 1/2-inch pieces
- Ground Beef: 1 lb (85/15)
- Onion: 1 medium, diced
- Ortega Mild Green Chiles: 2 tbsp (from 4-oz can, rinsed if needed)
- Garlic: 2 cloves, minced (or 1/2 tsp garlic powder)
- Tomato Paste: 1-2 tbsp (frozen)
- Canned Fire-Roasted Tomatoes: 15 oz (or 28 oz, use 1.5 cups broth)
- Canned Kidney Beans: 15 oz, rinsed and drained
- Canned Pinto Beans in Chili Sauce: 15 oz, undrained
- Beef Broth: 2 cups (or water with 1 tsp bouillon; 1.5 cups for 28 oz tomatoes)
- Coffee: 2 tbsp (leftover brew)
- Worcestershire Sauce: 1 tsp
- Apple Cider Vinegar: 1 tsp
- Molasses: 1 tsp
- MSG: 1/4 tsp (optional, for umami)
- Spices:
- Cumin: 2 tsp
- Coriander: 1 tsp
- Oregano: 1 tsp (Mexican if available)
- Smoked Paprika: 1/2 tsp
- Black Pepper: 1/8 tsp
- Cinnamon: 1/8 tsp (optional)
- Thyme: 1/4 tsp (optional, dried)
- Bay Leaf: 1
Instructions
- Render Ham Fat (10-15 minutes):
- In a heavy-bottomed pot over low to medium-low heat, add 6 oz ham fat pieces.
- Stir occasionally until fat melts into 1/4-1/3 cup liquid and solids are golden, 10-15 minutes.
- Sauté Aromatics (5-7 minutes):
- Increase heat to medium. Add diced onion and 2 tbsp Ortega chiles.
- Sauté until onions are soft and golden, 5-7 minutes.
- Add minced garlic (or 1/2 tsp garlic powder) and cook 30 seconds.
- Brown Ground Beef (8-10 minutes):
- Add 1 lb ground beef, breaking into chunks.
- Cook until browned, 8-10 minutes. Do not drain unless fat is excessive.
- Deglaze with 2 tbsp broth, scraping up browned bits.
- Bloom Spices and Tomato Paste (1-2 minutes):
- Add half the spices: 1 tsp cumin, 1/2 tsp coriander, 1/4 tsp smoked paprika, 1/2 tsp oregano, 1/8 tsp black pepper, 1/8 tsp cinnamon (if using), 1/8 tsp thyme (if using).
- Add 1-2 tbsp tomato paste. Stir and cook 1-2 minutes until fragrant and paste darkens.
- Start Simmer with Base Ingredients (30 minutes):
- Stir in remaining spices: 1 tsp cumin, 1/2 tsp coriander, 1/4 tsp smoked paprika, 1/2 tsp oregano, 1/8 tsp thyme (if using).
- Add 15 oz fire-roasted tomatoes, 2 tbsp coffee, 1 tsp Worcestershire, 1 tsp molasses, 1 bay leaf, and 2 cups beef broth (1.5 cups for 28 oz tomatoes).
- Bring to a boil, then reduce to low, partially cover, and simmer 30 minutes, stirring occasionally.
- Add Beans and Long Simmer (1-1.5 hours):
- Add 15 oz kidney beans and 15 oz pinto beans with chili sauce.
- Simmer on low, partially covered, for 1-1.5 hours more (total 1.5-2 hours), stirring gently every 20-30 minutes to prevent sticking.
- Check at 1.5 hours; stop if beans soften too much or flavors peak. Chili should be thick but not pasty. Skim excess fat if needed.
- Finish with MSG and Vinegar (Last 5-10 minutes):
- Stir in 1/4 tsp MSG and 1 tsp apple cider vinegar.
- Taste and adjust salt (ham fat and broth may suffice), spices, or thickness (mash a few beans if too thin; add 1/4 cup broth if too thick).
Saturday, April 19, 2025
Thursday, April 17, 2025
Lazy Thomist’s Chicken Quesadillas
Lazy Thomist’s Chicken Quesadillas
Ingredients (Serves 1-2, adjust as needed):
- 2-4 medium flour tortillas (8-inch work great)
- 1 cup cooked chicken, shredded or chopped
- 1 cup shredded cheese (cheddar, Monterey Jack, or Mexican blend)
- 1/4 cup salsa verde (for filling or dipping)
- Optional Veggies (pick what you’ve got):
- 1/4 cup red onion, thinly sliced
- 1/4 cup bell pepper (any color), diced
- 1 jalapeño, seeded and diced (if you like heat)
- Spices (optional, for sautéing):
- 1/2 tsp cumin
- 1/2 tsp smoked paprika
- Pinch of chili powder
- Olive oil (via your atomizer)
- Optional: Sour cream, extra salsa verde, or fresh cilantro for serving
Equipment:
- Emeril toaster oven-air fryer convection oven
- Small skillet (for sautéing veggies)
- Spatula
Steps:
- Sauté Veggies (Optional, ~5 min):
- Heat a small skillet over medium heat. Spray a light mist of olive oil from your atomizer.
- Toss in onion, bell pepper, and/or jalapeño. Sprinkle with cumin, smoked paprika, and chili powder (if using). Sauté 3-4 minutes until soft but not mushy. Set aside.
- Why sauté? Adds depth and keeps veggies from being too watery in the quesadilla. Skip if you’re feeling extra lazy—raw veggies work too.
- Prep Fillings:
- In a bowl, mix shredded chicken with 1-2 tbsp salsa verde for flavor (optional). Keep cheese and sautéed (or raw) veggies ready.
- Assemble Quesadillas:
- Lay one tortilla flat. Sprinkle a thin layer of cheese (about 2 tbsp) on half or the whole tortilla.
- Add a layer of chicken (about 1/4 cup per quesadilla), then veggies (if using). Top with another 2 tbsp cheese to “glue” it together.
- Fold the tortilla in half (if using half-fill method) or place another tortilla on top (if full). Press gently.
- Cook in Emeril Oven (~8-10 min):
- Preheat your Emeril toaster oven to 375°F (190°C) on the air fry or bake setting.
- Lightly spray both sides of the quesadilla with your olive oil atomizer for crispiness. (Pro tip: This keeps cleanup minimal and ensures a golden finish.)
- Place quesadilla on the oven’s tray or basket. Cook for 4-5 minutes, flip with a spatula, and cook another 3-4 minutes until golden and cheese is melty.
- Check halfway to avoid overcooking—your oven’s convection might cook faster.
- Serve:
- Slice into wedges with a knife or pizza cutter. Serve with salsa verde, sour cream, or a sprinkle of cilantro if you’re feeling fancy.
- Retro me Satanas flourish: Plate it with a defiant grin, as if you’ve just outwitted culinary mediocrity. 😈
Tips:
- Atomizer Use: A quick spritz on each side of the tortilla is enough—don’t soak it. This mimics frying without the mess.
- Lazy Hack: Skip sautéing and just toss raw veggies in. They’ll cook slightly in the oven.
- Cleanup: Use parchment paper or the oven’s tray to keep your Emeril pristine.
- Timing: Total prep and cook time is ~15-20 minutes, less if you skip veggies.
Friday, April 04, 2025
Friday, March 28, 2025
Saturday, March 22, 2025
Sunday, March 16, 2025
That chick in the back seat in the Carmax commercial that says, "No, you only did it thrice," SEVENTEEN times a game must die.
Or at least a bad case of diarrhea. Something. The universe demands justice.